See this girl. She is my oldest and is 11 going on 25. She is like me in so many ways that it scares me. She is very independent, headstrong, and so stubborn (she gets that from both me and her dad, double trouble). Those attributes can be good and bad. She is a great leader but her sisters would call that bossy. She is my extra set of hands but sometimes she tries to take over my job as the mommy. She is so ready to grow up. I was the same way.
All of last year she begged for her own cell phone. At first I didn't really see the need for her to have one. We homeschool so when she did go out she was usually with an adult that had one. Then she started going to friends houses and I needed an easier way to get up with her. So for Christmas she got a phone.
Then she wanted her own email. She does have friends that live out of state that she only sees during the summer and email would be a great way to keep in touch. So we set one up and she rarely uses it lol.
Now she wants her own Facebook page. Many of her friends have Facebook pages and she wants to play some of the games. At first I was totally against it. Why does she need a Facebook page? She begged me to talk to my husband about it and so I did. As we were discussing it I can see many advantages to setting up one now. The main reason is that right now she is more compliant then she might be later on. The rules that we want to set up might seem to restricting to a teenager, , but if we set up those rules now they will already be in place and would be harder to question.
Some of the rules that would be in place would be
- We have to approve any friends she wants to add
- Her father and I must also be friends with anyone she is friends with
- I must know her password
- I can and will check her page whenever I feel the need
- Any games or applications she wants to add have to be approved first
It scares me to think of all of the things out there on the internet, but if we can hold her hand through it maybe she will be more responsible about it. What do you think? What would you do?
I think in parenting there is a delicate balance between giving too much freedom, and over-protecting your child by controling what they are explosed to. This is an area that I struggle with. (I tend to overprotect) It seems to me that you guys are working hard to maintain that balance and you are doing a great job. You have obviously given this alot of thought, and have some very good guidelines to try and protect your child without smothering her. It is a scary day in which we are trying to raise our children. We all need alot of prayer and guidance daily. I appreciate you posting this. We have not reached this point yet with either of ours, but I know the day is coming. Love you all!! Kim
ReplyDeleteKelly, We've recently gone over the same things. Although I don't add her friends (because sometimes I update my status with things that OTHER parents may not want kids to see/hear) I do have rules in place. Both my 6yo and my 9yo have pages. My 6yo ONLY uses it for games. I have the privacy settings on their account and you can no search for them at all. They are hidden. For that reason they never get friend requests unless it's a "suggestion" and then they do not add without me or hubby knowing. For the most part THEY add people, but it's all people we know. Our computer is also in the dining room, although we DO have a laptop. They are not allowed on the internet unless it's on the desktop where I can look. I do have the passwords and I can check the pages ANYTIME. Like you are contemplating, it's easier to barter with her NOW and have the rules in place then when they are teenagers. She was willing to have ANY compromise to get the FB page to play games. It was easier. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteKim, you are so right about needing lots of prayers and guidance
ReplyDeleteBobbie, that's a good point about other parents not wanting their kids to see my status although I don't really post anything that offensive. It's also good to know about the privacy setting options.