Heavy Heart

I have such a heavy heart tonight. I have a couple of online friends who are dealing with some tough things that I know all to well what it is that they are going through. I also have another online friend who has a young child that has an incurable disease and they are having to make tough decisions for him and I also have a church family who lost their son/brother today (he was 22) and I hope that I never have to know what that is like. My prayer is that God finds ways to provide comfort and strength to all who need it.

In the past 10 months I have known more sorrow in my life than I have the other 32 years. I find though that I have more emphany because of it. When bad things happened to people before, I never knew what to say. I always found that when I did reach out I would feel awkward and I would say something completely stupid and maybe not even approate at that moment. I had not really known sorrow in my life. I have had death in my family but it was older grandparents that had been sick and it was known that it was their time. My parents are still married and are going strong. I was happily married to a loving husband with healthy, beautiful children. Although I could sympathize with someone going though a hard time in their life, I really didn't completely understand.

Now, going through a seperation and being betryed by the one person whom I loved most in this world, I know what to say to those going through the same thing. I know because of what others said to me. I have had such encouagement and love poured on me through my tough time that I can understand how much others need that too.

But the death of a child? A sick or dying child? I just don't know. I don't want to know and then I feel selfish saying that. The truth is I don't want anyone to have to know what that feels like, but this is life and death is a part of it.

It is through trials that our faith is tested. We find out what we are made of. We find our strength, our worth, even our true friends through the tough times. I wish there was an easier way but I know sometimes there is just no other way. So to all of you who are hurting, lonely, scared and/or lost, my prayer goes to you too. May God find ways to provide comfort and strength to all who need it. Amen.