I will start with a quote that has become my life recently
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
I don't know who said it but it fits me.
So what is my story.
Back in August my husband left me. After being married for over 11 years to say I was blindsided is to say the least. I begged for us to go to counseling, he said he was done. I will not get into details about everything but it was/is painful. So now I am learning how to be a single mother to my 4 girls. I am learning to solve problems on my own. I am learning to stand on my own two feet. I am learning that I am strong. Having said all of that I know that I can handle anything that is thrown my way because of the family and friends who stand behind me. Those that are there to lift me when I fall, wither that be financially, emotionally or even physically.
During this time I did fall physically. I twisted my knee up pretty bad and had to have surgery on it. That was three months ago today and just like my life I have slowly regained mobility. Actually my journey with my knee is a perfect parody to my journey to finding my way in life.
I was on the ground in a lot of pain and wondering what else can life do to me to knock me down. I was at rock bottom. The ambulance came and took me to the hospital. I got x-rays and some pain meds and then was sent home. The problem was home was 4 hours away and I couldn't drive. So my mom and sister drove up and got me and the kids. Then I went to the doctor to get it check out. After being on crutches for a couple of weeks it was decided that I needed surgery. After the surgery I was on crutches for about another week. I started to put weight on my knee but bending it was painful. Then I was able to walk on it. I was slow and limped and I couldn't do it for long. I was learning to bend my knee. Then I was able to drive again. I was gaining my strength back. Now except for the small scars on my knee no one can tell I even hurt it. Sometimes it hurts. Sometime it just aches.
It is just like my heart.
Being alone is the hardest part. I am surrounded by family and friends and I still feel alone. I have my 4 kids to keep me busy but I still feel alone. But just like with everything else I grin and bare it. Sometimes I feel so uncertain about everything and sometimes things are so clear. I do know I am better off and I do know one day I will be happy again.
Through all of this I lost my crafty mojo but I am starting to feel that crafty urge again. I always get a super urge to craft at Christmas time and this year is no exception (thank Heavens). Crafting has always been my therapy.
Since money is super tight and I don't know how in the world I will provide for Christmas I am planning on making what ever I can. I would like to share those ideas with you all and see if I can get my mojo back.
If you have read through all of this I really appreciate it. I know it was sort of jumbled and somethings might have been vague (there are a lot of details that I can't share publicly). I hope I didn't bore you too bad.
Here's to being strong and finding my crafty mojo lol.