Why I love my brother

Because we can have conversations like this.

 

 If only I had typed "your mind" instead of "you mind". Oh well can't win them all

I'm Back

For all of you that are still here reading this blog I would like to say thank you for sticking around. I sort of  took a unexpected break for a while. Most of you probably don't know but was verbally attacked by an "anonymous" person in some of my posts. To me this person isn't so anonymous. I know exactly who it was and I even know why they were doing it and that is their problem not mine. That is all I am going to say about that.

So what I have been up to? Well, my divorced was finalized in January so now I am officially a single woman. I am working on growing my etsy shop. If you read this post you will remember my quilled monograms. I think I have really perfected them and have finally set them up in my etsy shop. To check out my shop just click on my etsy button at the top of my left sidebar. Here are some pictures of a few of the orders I have done.

If you are interested in ordering anything put blogreaders in the code box and get 15% off your order. This code is good thru August 4th 2012.

My kids are growing like weeds. Until recently the last time I had their pictures taken where in this post.
Here they are now

It makes my heart ache a little to see how much they have grown.

I have not been sitting idly by these past few months. I have lots more that I want to share but I think I will save them for a post of their own. I also have a few things in mind that I want to start doing along with bringing back my "Quotes to Remember" posts. So keep your eyes out.

I am a Christian

Sweet little messages

Sometimes while letting my kids play on my phone they like to record themselves. This sweet little message was left on my phone for me to find.

Just Some Thoughts

Everyone deserves happiness. But what if that happiness came from tearing up the lives of others. By breaking promises that you had made and by deserting your responsibilities and leaving them for others to handle. Is it deserved then? Should happiness come at the expense of others? Where is the line drawn? Where does that leave those that you have left behind? Don't they deserve happiness too?

So you found happiness, leaving a wake of destruction behind you. Good for you. Go and be happy. But just because you are still expected to take care of your responsibilities does not mean that I have not found happiness. The difference is that my happiness is not at the expense of others. True happiness comes from living a righteous life. When you live your life in sin it is only perceived happiness, not true happiness. That happiness can not last. It will slowly shrivel up and fade away.

I am finding happiness in a world that has been flipped upside down. Through heart ache and betrayal I am learning what true happiness is. That kind of happiness will last for eternity. I am no longer bound by the past. I can see now that I deserved more. I should have never allowed myself to be subjugated to the whims of another who could only think of themselves. Now I can grow to be the woman, the mother, that I have always wanted to be. Someone who can stand proud because I know that I am living my life the best that I can and no one has to be my stepping stone on the way to my happiness. My happiness allows me to build others up instead of tearing them down.

So I say yes, everyone deserves happiness no matter how they obtain it. Just know that you will be held accountable for the good or the bad that you did to get it. Just make sure that YOU can live with how you gained that happiness, that's all that matters.

Finding you are stronger than you think you are

I will start with a quote that has become my life recently
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
I don't know who said it but it fits me.

So what is my story.

Back in August my husband left me. After being married for over 11 years to say I was blindsided is to say the least. I begged for us to go to counseling, he said he was done. I will not get into details about everything but it was/is painful. So now I am learning how to be a single mother to my 4 girls. I am learning to solve problems on my own. I am learning to stand on my own two feet. I am learning that I am strong. Having said all of that I know that I can handle anything that is thrown my way because of the family and friends who stand behind me. Those that are there to lift me when I fall, wither that be financially, emotionally or even physically.

During this time I did fall physically. I twisted my knee up pretty bad and had to have surgery on it. That was three months ago today and just like my life I have slowly regained mobility. Actually my journey with my knee is a perfect parody to my journey to finding my way in life.

I was on the ground in a lot of pain and wondering what else can life do to me to knock me down. I was at rock bottom. The ambulance came and took me to the hospital. I got x-rays and some pain meds and then was sent home. The problem was home was 4 hours away and I couldn't drive. So my mom and sister drove up and got me and the kids. Then I went to the doctor to get it check out. After being on crutches for a couple of weeks it was decided that I needed surgery. After the surgery I was on crutches for about another week. I started to put weight on my knee but bending it was painful. Then I was able to walk on it. I was slow and limped and I couldn't do it for long. I was learning to bend my knee. Then I was able to drive again. I was gaining my strength back. Now except for the small scars on my knee no one can tell I even hurt it. Sometimes it hurts. Sometime it just aches.

It is just like my heart.

Being alone is the hardest part. I am surrounded by family and friends and I still feel alone. I have my 4 kids to keep me busy but I still feel alone. But just like with everything else I grin and bare it. Sometimes I feel so uncertain about everything and sometimes things are so clear. I do know I am better off and I do know one day I will be happy again.

Through all of this I lost my crafty mojo but I am starting to feel that crafty urge again. I always get a super urge to craft at Christmas time and this year is no exception (thank Heavens). Crafting has always been my therapy.

Since money is super tight and I don't know how in the world I will provide for Christmas I am planning on making what ever I can. I would like to share those ideas with you all and see if I can get my mojo back.

If you have read through all of this I really appreciate it. I know it was sort of jumbled and somethings might have been vague (there are a lot of details that I can't share publicly). I hope I didn't bore you too bad.

Here's to being strong and finding my crafty mojo lol.

My love for planning birthday parties

I love planning for birthday parties. At our house birthday planning usually starts late August to September for our two birthdays in October. Then we deal with all the holiday stuff just to turn around to start planning again for our February and March birthdays.

I love it when they think of a theme on their own and they get major brownie points it they think of themes in advance. I could spend months coming up with ideas to match a theme.

Lea is going to get major brownie points for her next idea (if she doesn't change her mind considering her birthday isn't until March). She told me, a week or so ago, that she wants a bubbles birthday party. Oh the ideas that are turning in my head. I can't wait till I have time to sit down and start looking for ideas. So be on the look out. I will be posting things as I find them.

Today is my Birthday

Today I am 31 years old. I know I am not over the hill but I am no spring chicken either. So what does that make me? Well, anyway today I want to give a shout out to my parents for not only having me and raising me but for everything else you do. Love you guys!!

A little vent

In August of  '08 my husband was laid off from his job. It was a blow to both of us as we both thought that was pretty secure there. Here in the small town we live in there is not many job opportunities for him to get a job. He has been doing odd jobs here and there but mostly he is trying to build up the business that we have through a company through Market America.

Because of this he has been home a lot more. I absolutely love that he is home. Some things that I don't love, however, are for the the first several months he would sit on the bed with the laptop on his lap while looking for a local job and developing his social circle, supposedly so he can do the business, which is mostly true. I called it his "whole". I know that it was important for him to look for work whether it was a job or for MA but did he have to be their all day. Because he was "working" he expected me to do his leg work all the while doing what I normally do, raising and homeschooling our 4 kids and the housework.

I got annoyed that he didn't help out more around the house. Was that wrong of me? He was after all "working". The truth is he didn't spend that whole time "working". He was doing what we all do at the computer too. Socializing for fun. I talked to him about it and he understood my point and said he would help out more

Well now it has been over a year and he is still home. The good news is that he does help out more. He washes dishes, he cooks sometimes and he does the Mr. Mom things when I can find the odd job to help with finances. Things were going go for awhile. Now though it seems that when he does help it seems to be with the attitude of "I guess I better get this done because you sure aren't going to do it". He hounds me everyday about what I have planned for lunch and supper even though it is written on a menu in the kitchen. For lunch he starts on me about 10:30 asking what I have planned, not so that he could help fix it, but like I forgot that the kids need to eat lunch. I don't know if I am imagining this attitude or not. I can't really point out any actual evidence to prove it. I don't know. I guess it is time for another talk.

Just for the record I really do love my hubby. He is a great father and my best friend and it is good to know that I can go to him with problems even if that problem is his behavior and I hope he feels he could do the same with me.

There's an App for that

As soon as my husband learned about the iPhone he wanted one. I remember he had to wait over 6 months for the first one to come out. He's always been big with the ipod and Apple and as soon as the new iPhone came out he was one of those crazy people who stood in line for hours to get one.

Then, a year latter, Apple came out with another one. Of course hubby had to get it. I told him he had to earn the money to pay for it first. So you know what he did. He unlocked his old one (barely a year) and sold it on ebay for more than what the new one cost. He actually made a profit. So once again he stood in line for a couple of hours just for the store to run out 3 people ahead of him. So the next day he drove for over an 1 1/2 hours to a bigger Apple store just to stand in line again. At least he did get it this time.

Once again, a year latter, Apple came out with an even better one. Once again I told him he need to earn the money when he started talking about getting one. The problem this time was that he had been laid off a few months before so money was tight and unlocked phones are not as in demand as they once where. So he had to wait.

To try to butter me up so that he could get one sooner he told me that when he got the new one I could have his old one. Well, that didn't work with me. What did I need an iPhone for? All I use my phone for is to have it while I am out (which isn't all that often). I don't receive calls (service sucks in the house) and I don't text (pressing all those numbers just to get the right letter frustrates me).

Then my dad, sister, and my brother got iPhones. Every time we went over to their house they were comparing apps and playings games and showing off all the things the iPhone does and I started to think that I might actually want one but I didn't let hubby know.

So right before Christmas we got a little extra money and I agreed that he could get the new iPhone for Christmas. It was ordered and he had to wait till Christmas morning to open it. That was about as bad for him as it was when he had to wait to get the first one.

So now he has his new one and like he promised gave me his old one. I have spent the last two week getting to know it and figuring out how to use it. I must admit that I am enjoying it but is it something that I could live without? Not just yet. The problem is that my hubby thinks that he has irreversibly changed my life. That if I had to give it up now I would be devastated. Sure I like that I can check Facebook on it and because of the iPhone I am finally learning how to use Twitter. I do like all the cool games and that I can file a clam through Geico if I am ever in an accident. The constant (well almost) access to the internet and email and my calendar and contacts and the weather and to be able to take decent pictures is nice. But devastated? We will have to see.

Right now I am busy finding apps that will help me, entertain me, educate me, all in all make my like easier. Ok, so I am a little addicted to it but don't tell my hubby because he would never let me live it down, although I think he suspects already since my text messaging went from 2 (which was the average for one month) to almost over 50 in just the past two weeks.

Oh well.

For those of you lucky enough to own one what are some of your favorite apps? What are the ones that make your life easier? How about the ones you couldn't live without?

My 2010 Word of the Year

I love words. Words can inspire me. Words can hurt me. Words can move me. Words can up lift me. So if you don't know I love words.

For those of you familiar to my blog you know that on Mondays I post my "Quotes to Remember...". To me they are words that makes me stop and ponder about the important things in life.

When I found out that Tip Junkie was doing a challenge to come up with a word that sums up what you want for yourself in 2010 I was all over it. That is until I had to actually pick a word.

How does someone who loves words just pick one? So I went on my quest to find my word. I started thinking about the goals I want to accomplish.  I asked my hubby what words he liked (I won't repeat here the suggestions he gave me. He can never be serious lol.) I asked my parents, they said things like prosperity and enjoyment. Those are all good and all things I want but they are not my word.

What is my word? The truth is I am still undecided. I thought that if I started typing this out that it might come to me.

So, what are some of my favorite words? This past Christmas it was Believe. We made ornaments that hung between our stockings that spelled it out. I talked to my kids about the word believe and the different things that it could mean. I felt that the word Believe summed up the Christmas season.

But I am supposed to find a word that sums up what I want for my self in 2010. Believe is a great word, but it is not my word.

Another word that comes to mind is Success. Isn't that what we all want. Success as a person. Success as a wife. Success as a mother. Success in my business. Success is what I want but no it is not my word.

How about Gratitude. I believe (there is that word again) that you have to be grateful for what you have to be able to get what you want. Gratitude is essential for true success. But I don't think gratitude is my word.

Peace. Now there is something that I need and want in my life. With 4 kids running around that is something that I have very little of. I just don't think that sums up everything I want. So no peace is not my word.

Happiness. Lately I have been reading a book called Happy for no Reason by Marci Shimoff. True happiness is not contingent on what you have or don't have. True happiness is just that, being happy for no reason. Sometimes in life I find myself having to deal with people that are just not happy about anything. They usually spend all their time complaining about one thing or another. They find excuses to why they don't succeed and reasons why they shouldn't even try. They hardly ever smile and they are usually sick all the time. Then there are those people that are happy. I'm sure you know someone like this. The are just happy for no reason. They are the ones people gravitate towards.  They are the ones who make you feel good about yourself. They are just fun to be around. I think that with true Happiness you can find peace. With Happiness you can find gratitude. Even Happiness can help you have success. I think that is my word.

"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder..." Thoreau

So what is your word. If you don't know it is worth finding out.

Nightmares

When I was younger (between the ages of 6-8) I use to have this recurring nightmare. It was at my church and the way the building is set up is the halls and the chapel a make a square shape with the gym in the middle and the classrooms around the outside.

In my dream there was this big orange monster in the church chasing everyone and eating them up. My little brother was with me and in the dream we spent the whole time running and hiding from this monster.

After having this dream several times I finally told my mom about it and as we talked about it she put a different light on things that my young brain couldn't get past the fear to see. She helped me laugh things off like this big scary orange monster turned into something that would be on the Muppet Show. Still big and orange but not so scary. She asked me questions about this nightmare, like did I actually see this monster eating people, which the answer was no. So she came up with another reason that the people were disappearing. I had this dream one more time after my mom and I had talked about it and this time it was not a nightmare. After that I never had the dream again.

The point of me telling you this is that Zoe came to me last night after having a nightmare. She was clearly shaken and upset by it but didn't want to talk to me about it. I tried to explain that if you talk about it, it helps make things not seem so bad. But she still didn't want to talk about it. So I held her till she stopped trembling and then when she was ready I tucked her back into bed.

Now my question to you is what do you do when your child has a nightmare? Should I have been more persuasive in getting Zoe to talk about her nightmare or do you think I did the right thing by letting her get over it her own way?

ABCs of Me

It's the ABCs of me, if you want to play along feel free!

A - Age: 31

B - Bed size: King and still not enough room for all my kids

C - Chore you hate: washing dishes. Oh how I would love to have a dishwasher

D - Dogs' names: Lilo and Wicket

E - Essential start to your day item: Breakfast

F - Favorite color: Sometimes blue sometimes green depends on when you ask me

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H – Height: 5'31/2

I - Instruments you play: I played the Flute in High school. I still toot on every once and awhile

J - Job title: You want a title is there one for someone who does it all? Oh yea "Mother/Wife"

K - Kid(s): Four

L - Living arrangements: My husband a me and our 4 kids in a very tiny house

M - Mom's name: Melody

N – Nicknames: Mom

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: None

P - Pet Peeve: When the cashier is giving you back your change and they hand you the bills and then put the change on top. Most of the time I only have one hand to spare how am I suppose to grab that change without dropping it everywhere

Q - Quote from a movie: "Do or do not, there is no try"

R - Right or left handed: Left

S - Siblings: 1 little brother and 1 little sister who are both taller then me (how did that happen)

T - Time you wake up: Usually around 7:30

U- Underwear: wear 'em

V - Vegetable you dislike: There is not many I do like

W - Ways you run late: Most of the time I'm early but if I were late it is because someone is dragging their feet

X - X-rays: none

Y - Yummy food you make: BBQ chicken on the grill, cake ("Everybody loves Cake")

Z - Zoo animals: I just love the Zoo

If you enjoyed this and would love to join in the fun stop by confessionsofamoodymommy and blog your ABC's of ME.